Monday, April 9, 2001

Woke up nauseous this morning, and didn’t go in to work. Nothing really serious, though; I should be fine by tomorrow.

So, I re-watched Mighty Space Miners to find footage for the anime music video I wanted to make out of it, only to realize that there’s really not enough footage there for the video I wanted to make. I was really disappointed, as MSM captures the feel of real life in space better than really any other anime series I’ve seen, and I really wanted to give people that experience. But I don’t think it’d work.

Mom and I wandered around my garden for a little while, doing a bit of touch-up work here and there (watering a few plants, etc.). And we chatted, for quite awhile, about all sorts of things. And we watched the birds hopping about near the bird feeders. It was unseasonably warm today — over 80 degrees — so we enjoyed it as much as we could.

I then watched The Castle of Cagliostro, an early Miyazaki film. It’s an adventure flick, in a similar vein to the Pink Panther movies. I loved it; it was a lot of fun. Lupin is a blast.

A big storm swept through in the evening, so I and my parents sat up in the sewing room with the windows open, letting the cool breeze envelop us as it blew through. It passed within a few hours, giving us time to talk about Bible churches, and movies, and trusting people, and what it really means to be a church pastor (living a life, not just walking a walk and talking a talk).

Then Saalon shamed me by writing half a teaser for an online webdrama he volunteered to do some work on, on top of chatting with me for much of the day and working a full day at the video store. And here I haven’t written a word on Wine in days. I must purpose to be more productive like that.

I’ve also been thinking about some things about myself that my Mom pointed out last night. Namely, that I have a very good opinion of myself, and as a result I’m lenient on myself because I see myself as being a good person. It’s sort of a weird cyclical delusion: I see myself as being a Good Employee, so I cut myself a lot of slack, which makes me not a Good Employee. And then, when I fail myself, I’m very self-condemnatory.

Plus, I have a vanity problem. I need to work on these things, to see myself for what I truly am, as well as what I want to be.

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