March 11, 2003

Success! My laptop is now a LAMP-ish development manchine, running Apache, MySQL, and PHP (the “L” stands for Linux; in this case, it’s running a BSD kernel, which is close enough).

This means that I now have a portable development machine. I can hack away at a powerful website while sitting in the back seat of a car. Very useful.

I’m nearing psychic meltdown.

I’m an introvert. Introverts need a lot of time alone to recharge their mental batteries. For the past two weeks, I’ve had very little time to recharge.

Ironically enough, that’s come mostly as a result of my desire to make and keep friends. I’ve had six separate dates with various people in the past seven days, ranging from a wonderful museum trip with a friend on Saturday to regular commitments like Redemption. I’ve been left with almost no time to write or read or just relax.

And I can feel a certain frustration, an annoyance, a getting–between–the–mother–bear–and–her–cubs attitude building up inside me. My mind is overtired. I need to rebalance myself, to recharge.

The problem is, I haven’t had the time to write in the past couple of weeks. I’ve set a quota of ten pages a week, and this week I’ve written…well…zero. But if I write five pages tonight, that would get me halfway there, and I could write five pages on Thursday….

…But no. I need to recharge, and that’s more important than a writing quota.

So, tonight, I intend to go home and do pretty much whatever I feel like doing. If I decide to read, I’ll read. If my fingers itch to write, I’ll write. If I want to watch anime, that’s cool. If I want to stare, mouth gaping, at my iBook’s screen saver, I’ll do that.

And I’m fine with that. It’s life, and it’s good. I’d rather be unproductive and connected to life than productive and snarling at the cat.

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