May 12, 2003


Only a few hours later, I get (1) a kind response from a regular reader, giving me a thumbs-up, which is a wonderful blessing, and (2) an apologetic e-mail from Saalon, explaining that he hadn’t even read my journal entry and that his rant was based on a completely different discussion. Lots of kindness.

And now, I feel ready to take on the world. Whoo!

Quick disclaimer (eek!): My earlier post was not a smackdown of Saalon. I was posting my feelings. I have great respect for him.

Heh. Funny how things work.

I didn’t have anything to post today, but wanted to, then I saw this post by Saalon. It hurts. A lot.

And now I honestly don’t want to post anything. Partly because I’m tired of people trying to put thoughts in other peoples’ heads.

This is the second time this week that I’ve seen somebody jump to conclusions about what somebody else was actually thinking. When I first saw it happen, I wanted to get as far away from it as possible.

And here, it appears that Saalon’s doing it to me. I don’t know if Saalon was writing about me and my most recent post, but it sure felt like it. His assumptions about me really hurt.

Does it hurt because that post hits close to home? A bit, certainly. But I didn’t post because I honestly thought that my life was insignificant. I was asking an honest question: Are people interested in reading about my life here? I can write about a whole lot of things — anime, technology, writing — and are people interested in reading about details of my life? The only response I’ve received so far is apparently Saalon’s rant.

I guess, partly, I’m saddened that he (apparently) won’t allow me a little depression now and then. Again, I don’t know if his post was directed at me, but it sure seems like it. I don’t whine about my insigificance much. Heck, “ambitious” is practically my middle name. I’m trying to start an anime company, build a giant mech, and be a successful writer, for goodness’ sake, while making a nice salary working on the official flight simulator for the B-1 bomber. I’d say I’m pretty self-confident.

So, what do I do about this? I post about it here on my journal. Heh. Ironic.

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