Monday, March 14, 2005

Mar 14 2005

I’m almost finished writing a story that I want to present to my writing group tomorrow night. Unfortunately, the story refuses to finish itself.

It’s an odd situation, in a way. I want to finish it, but I can’t make myself do it. It’s like Murray—my Muse—has stepped out of his smoke-filled little office and just won’t come back.

What causes a writer to find himself unable to finish a story? I can certainly envision possible endings. I just can’t seem to find the mental energy to get those words on paper. Or is it that? Do I have some kind of mental block that’s keeping me from writing?

This looks odd, but I often worry that I worry too much. Seriously. I think that I may just get so afraid of writing the wrong thing that I don’t want to write anything. Worse, it’s not a conscious fear; I just begin to doubt myself so much that I lock up.

Doubt is a good thing; without it, I’d write nothing but pap and never improve. I just need to figure out if I’m actually doubting myself now, or something else is at work. And if I am doubting myself, how do I switch that off?

Man. Writing’s hard.

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