Resilient and Alive From All Sides

Apr 13 2006

Stayed up until 12:30 last night, then tried to get up at 7:15. I clearly need to make a few adjustments to my “workload.”

Which probably makes me sound like I’m stuffing my evenings with busywork. Here’s the thing:

When I get home, I have four broad ways to fill my time: maintenance work like checking my truck’s oil or dusting the house, creative work that feeds my desire to build things (like writing and drawing and programming), all the random stuff that comes up in our daily lives (like calling back my aunt or writing a thank-you note), and free time to do whatever I want (like watch anime or read).

Problem is, I could spend all evening on maintenance work, creative work, and/or random stuff. I could always write more, and I could always keep the house more clean. Not that I do fill my time like that; I just know I can, and there’s always a higher standard of living one could be living in.

Thus the balancing act. I need to spend some time relaxing. But if I spend all night every night relaxing, the house gets covered with dust (and I have a slight dust allergy), e-mail doesn’t get answered, etc. etc. etc. That’s not how I want to live my life.

I’ve tried to do my relaxation first thing in the evenings, but that doesn’t work; I end up getting into a groove of watching a show or reading a book, and keep at it until bedtime. Perhaps I need to be more firm with myself on that, but then, the whole point of this is to make me more relaxed, not more tense.

If I do my relaxation later in the evening and do maintenance work, creative work, and random stuff as soon as I get home, I end up essentially adding an hour or two to my workday, straight through. I can get halfway through that extra hour and be exhausted, much less push all the way through.

Hmmm. Maybe I should add in some relaxtion right when I get home, but not too much. Half an hour or an hour or something. I can try to put my “home work” in the middle of my evening, cushioned between two periods of relaxation.

I am determined to get a stable system going here. Not that it will work for ever and everything, but I want something that will work most of the time. That will help me to keep up with all the demands of life, without pushing me to exhaustion. To keep me “resilient and alive from all sides,” to quote a Tai Chi Master I watched recently.

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