“If your right eye causes you to sin, if necessary gouge it out and throw it away.”
— Jesus Christ (0–33 A.D.)
Okay, I’m at work, and I can’t stare straight at my monitor any more. So, this is a good opportunity to write the journal entry that I
(This is from a man who, when
…Ahh, good, I’ve already tripped gaily down a weird tangent when introducing an important blog entry. Blog Cliche #1…check.
Seriously. I’ve been struggling for awhile with a tendency to look at naughty pictures on the internet (no, I won’t provide hyperlinks, though it would sure make my access logs entertaining). For a while, I pretended it was no big deal, and then when I realized it was a big deal, tried to stop.
Now, to understand the impact of this, know that I am a disciple of the Science Fiction Heroism school of
In other words, I was addicted to porn. It was a plain fact. I couldn’t go more than a few days without spiralling down into the same old behavior.
So, I went to a counsellor. That’s been going very well, and I’ve been learning a lot about myself, but there’s been one bone of contention. My counsellor’s pointed out that, realistically, there’s only one way to beat an addiction: Abstinence. Serious abstinence.
I resisted this for a long time, until finally on Saturday when I spiralled back down into that well of inexplicable behavior, and I finally decided that that was enough, that I was ready to get rid of this, and I was going to take the plunge.
Starting last night, I began a planned
Two weeks from now, I’ll start using my computer again (under supervision, no less!), but only for
If this sounds extreme to you, you’re right. It is extreme. But it’s my duty as a man and as a Christian to solve this. It’s not right for me to be in bondage to this. I’m systematically engaged in a destructive behavior which I can’t stop. If I have to be drastic to deal with it, then fine.
(And yes, pornography is destructive, in lots of ways. I won’t go into it here, but suffice to say that I use that term intentionally.)
And, really, is my behavior all that drastic? I’m just giving up
Of course, this opens up a much larger question: What would my life be like if I permanently abandoned the computer? I feel no need to do so, but it’s an interesting thought experiment.
What would your life be like?