Archive for July, 2004

July 29, 2004

Jul 29 2004 Published by under Miscellaneous

Here’s an attempt at describing my life for the next few weeks:

Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
25 July 26 27 28 29
Today
30
Otakon
31
Otakon morning, drive to Saalon‘s
1 August
At Saalon’s
2
Drive back in morning
3 4 5 6 7
8

9 10 11 12 13 14
15 16 17 18
Sign townhouse contract
19
Review townhouse
20 21
Move clothing, pots, pans, etc.
22 — 28
Move books and bookcases, one load per night
 

So. Yes. I feel like the robots in classic Star Trek who were given a set of logical impossibilities. “Every-thing you say is false…but if that is true…then it can-not be true…il-log-i-calil-log-i-cal….”

Owning a home has become a big part of American culture. Note Fannie Mae’s radio ads, fashioning itself as a pillar of the American economy (an ad campaign that happened to start just after the Justice Department began investigating them for massive fraud on a scale that would impress Enron execs, but I’m getting off-track). A touch of awe enters peoples’ voices when they tell their children, “Some day, you’ll grow up, and you’ll own your own home.”

Homes are massively expensive. My knees get weak at the idea of a $10,000 plasma screen TV; my townhouse will cost twenty times that. It’s an astronomical sum.

So, I guess I’m justified in being blown away by this whole process.

[Ghost in the Shell TV screenshot]

In other news, I watched the first disc of the new Ghost in the Shell TV series last night. I hoped it would blow me away; it was “merely” entertaining. Perhaps this was simple too-high expectations. This is a huge property, and it has some of the best staff in anime, from Masamune Shirow to Yoko Kanno to Production I.G. I expected brilliance.

I got a good techno-thriller. It’s essentially a cop show set thirty years in the future, where the world was created by a real futurist. This is a believable future.

The protagonists are the members of Section 9, a ”grey ops” team that’s heavily armored, amazingly skilled, and charged with the most delicate of missions, from defusing hostage situations to investigating rogue robots. The series keeps the strong cast from the manga, but chooses very odd voices. The leader of the team is the tough-as-nails pragmatist Major Kusanagi, but they gave her an almost silky, Madonna-like voice. Togusa is the newbie to the group, a fantastic shot but unsure of himself. His voice is deep, mature, and confident. The others don’t suffer as badly, but the voices just don’t match the characters.

On the other hand, some series need a few episodes to establish themselves, so this one may improve as time goes on.

No responses yet

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Jul 28 2004 Published by under Miscellaneous

Um. So. I don’t really have time to write an entry that fully describes my experiences today, but I did want to record this:

I now own a townhouse.

Well, I don’t exactly own it yet; we won’t close on it until mid-August. But I’ve signed the contract, and the seller’s signed the contract. Everything looks golden.

I don’t really have an emotional reaction to this yet. I’m overwhelmed. It all happened so fast; I saw this place for the first time on Saturday, and four days later I essentially own it. I’ve committed to a $200,000 mortgage. Eep!

But I know that this is the right thing for me to do now. I need to be putting my money into equity.

And now, more of the VR story:

Thomas grinned and walked over to where she sat with two others, a man and a woman who both looked him up and down. They had very young faces, and lacked the casual grace of most of the others here.

“Coaching more newbies, eh, Surge?” Thomas said, straddling a bench.

She beamed at him; the others looked slightly embarrassed. “They’re coming along,” she said. “Sharky here’s really good.” She cocked her head at Thomas, arching an eyebrow. “I haven’t seen you in a long while. Good to find you back in the game. Take out a few more Itharlik for us.” Thomas took a breath to correct her, but her face darkened and he let her continue. “We’ve been losing a lot of pilots lately, Deathshead.”

He waved it away; this was the nature of space combat flight sims. The game must’ve just gotten harder, he figured. Surge’s eyebrows drew together, and she leaned forward like a conspirator from a paperback thriller. “No. It’s not like that,” she said, her voice low and insistent. “It’s….”

She glanced at the newbies; the girl was looking alarmed, while the guy seemed politely bored. A frown flashed onto her face and was replaced with a bland, professional smile. “I think you two need more flight time,” she said. “Go sign up for a mission. Something routine. You can’t handle a pack of F.B.s just yet.” The guy looked disappointed, but they both agreed and left through a side door.

“Hey, wait a minute,” Thomas said, and pulled his hand away. He had been yanked around by far too many women lately. “I need to talk to you.”

To his surprise, she turned and nodded, desperation in her eyes. “C’mon,” she said. “Privately. In my quarters.”

He blinked. This was…unusual. Was she asking him back for sex? It was fairly common for pilots to simulate “close quarter combat” in these games, though the games never had full-contact hookups to allow for actual physical stimulation. But her eyes weren’t shining with lust. It was more like fear.

He briefly debated with himself about leaving now. He had a lot of other contacts to meet. But something about her expression melted him. Maybe, he reflected, he was becoming soft. Not good for a man in his position.

Confusion blossoming in his mind, he nodded and allowed her to lead him out of the mess hall.

No responses yet

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

Jul 27 2004 Published by under Miscellaneous

Yes, yes, no updates. Much wailing and ululations of reprobation. I’m a baaad blogger.

Much going on in my life. For one, I’m buying a townhouse, which scares me cold. I’m going to have to pay several thousand dollars just to perform the financial transaction. That’s without actually paying for the thing. And I feel bad when I spend more than a hundred bucks on anime.

I know that this is the right thing for me to do right now, because for months now I’ve been unhappy with the fact that my rent isn’t really getting me anything other than a roof over my head. I’d rather that money go into a mortgage on a property, which I can always sell and at least get the money back.

I’m overwhelmed at the enormity of it. I have to spend several thousand dollars, which I don’t really have. I’ll have to deplete my savings. Fortunately, my parents can loan me the rest, but still….This is the biggest financial transaction of my life.

Pretty cool, really.

No responses yet

Friday, July 23, 2004

Jul 23 2004 Published by under Miscellaneous

[Book cover]

For the past several months, I’ve been reading Aaron Copland’s What to Listen For in Music. It’s a difficult book to read in one sitting, as it cover so much musical territory. I finally pushed through the last half of it this week.

It’s an amazing work, really. Copland manages a concise overview of many major classical music styles and a guide through the process of musical composition. But running throughout every chapter is a constant thread of the lay listener’s reaction to all of this. Copland is always answering the question, “How can the lay listener better appreciate and understand music?”

For example, his description of the rondo form (which, using letters to denote each distinct musical section, might be written as ABACADAEA…), is accompanied by exhortations to listen to rondos with this form in mind, to hear exactly how the composer is using the form. Understanding the underlying form gives the listener a fuller understanding of exactly what the composer has been able to do with the form.

And fortunately, Copland also encourages the reader to listen to new types of music. Rather than disparaging new and experimental styles, Copland points out that any dislike of a musical style is usually caused by insufficient exposure to that style. One must spend time listening to electronic music, for example, becoming used to its forms, before one can judge it.

He repeats the importance of listening to music, too, and the fact that nothing can improve our appreciation of music more than that practice. So, I’ve begun integrating that into my life, spending a little time each week listening closely to a classical piece. No distractions. I listen for the instruments being used at any given time, the overall melody being played, the accompaniments that bolster the melody, and the overall melodic line of the piece. And it’s exhausting. I listened like that to Beethoven’s first symphony, and had to stop after fifteen minutes, overwhelmed with musical input.

A little knowledge can change everything.

(Sorry I’ve been forgetting to post the VR story. I plan to start posting more again next week.)

No responses yet

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

Jul 21 2004 Published by under Miscellaneous

Wow, are my legs and feet sore. But, y’know, it’s a good kind of sore. (Cue the Far Side cowboy punctured with about two dozen arrows who, in a daze, is saying to his partner, “Yeah, Clem, it hurts, but y’know, it’s a good kind of hurt.”)

Tuesday night, I decided to act on some information I’d read in Runner’s World about running barefoot. Apparently, a lot of current research suggests that the benefits of running with shoes aren’t significantly outweighed by the benefits of running barefoot. And the benefits of running barefoot? Our feet were designed to provide us with a lot of feedback, and shoes muffle that feedback. As a result, it’s much harder for our feet to tell us when we’re running in a way that’s damaging to our knees or legs.

And you know all those African Olympians who run barefoot? Apparently, they have don’t get knee problems or leg problems nearly as much as those who run with shoes.

So, I figured that running barefoot was at least worth a try. I stripped off my socks and shoes, changed into my running outfit, and hit the pavement for a two-mile jog.

The sidewalk was mostly clear of debris, so my sharp eye was enough to keep me away from twigs and fallen nuts. For the first few minutes, I put on quite a spectacle for anyone watching at such a late hour, as I was practically prancing from one foot to the next. I wasn’t used to it, so I placed each foot with the care of a wary deer.

But after a few minutes, I settled into a natural gait that was fairly similar to my regular running gait, and after about ten minutes I was really jogging. At that point, I began to appreciate the sensuous pleasure of every footfall, feeling the texture of the sidewalk. Some bits of concrete were slightly rougher than others. A few steps onto the cool wet grass was like a mouthful of whipped cream, delightfully smooth and refreshing.

By the time I returned to my apartment, my feet were complaining as though I’d been whipping them, and I headed straight for the shower. To my surprise, upon inspecting the bottom of my feet, I found that they were merely dusty. There were no blood-filled cuts or cratered gouges in my skin.

After a few hours of rest, my legs are still very sore, although that must be partially due to a general soreness in my legs over the past few days. My feet are a little sore, too, but considering the sensations I experienced tonight, it was well worth this.

I don’t know if I’ll run barefoot every time I run, but I certainly can’t wait to do it again.

No responses yet

Tuesday, July 20, 2004

Jul 20 2004 Published by under Miscellaneous

One of the great advantages of moving out of one’s parents’ house is the ability to go back.

My parents hosted a neighborhood party on Sunday, and I decided to go. It was a fun opportunity to see neighbors that I hadn’t talked to in years. And, I could bring deviled eggs.

The eggs were a bit of a chore, as I’ve been working for awhile to perfect a system of baking the eggs instead of boiling them. I could put them on the racks of the oven (which was set for 325 degrees Fahrenheit), and they’d cook fully, but each had two large brown marks where the egg had rested against the grill. I finally solved the problem by stopping after fifteen minutes, five minutes, and another five minutes to rotate the eggs slightly. After the last rotation, five more minutes in the oven (thirty minutes total) cooked the eggs through. Then it was just a matter of tossing them in cold water and peeling them. Two of the eggs burst in the oven, but one was okay so I ended up with ten deviled eggs. Mixing mayonnaise and sugar with the yolks to taste was all else I needed to do.

Then, after arriving early and helping my parents get ready, I chatted with old neighbors for several hours. It was great. When we moved in twenty-five years ago, most of the families had young children, so I was used to hearing the shouts of kids playing as I grew up. As time went on, they all grew up and the new families were either much older or much younger—new couples who didn’t want children—and the shouts of children faded from the streets. But a few families with children have moved in recently, so I had the pleasant experience of chatting with joking acquaintances while children roamed the property, shouting and squealing to each other.

[The Maltese Falcon]

Afterwards, I stopped by Blockbuster’s and rented The Maltese Falcon, as part of my program to watch Ebert’s Great Movies. I watched it almost immediately after returning home.

The Maltese Falcon was completely different than I’d expected. It’s amazing how much I thought I knew from short clips and sly references.

For one, Sam Spade is incredibly slick. As someone in the film puts it, he has a fast mouth. He’s not necessarily smart, but he can always come up with some explanation or justification or line of questioning on the spot. That’s probably what elevates the character into greatness; he has a unique power.

Morever, Spade—like every other character—has strange, hidden depths to him. I was never quite sure what was going on within each character’s head. Even at the end, characters betray surprises about their motivations.

John Huston did a masterful job with the camera, zooming in or out—sometimes just slightly—to emphasize a plot point or keep the actors in the frame without resorting to a cut. It’s the sort of camerawork that’s often overused in Hong Kong filmmaking, where the camera will rapidly zoom in on a character’s face from a long shot, to heighten tension. In Hong Kong, it was exaggerated; here, it is used with supreme finesse.

Overall, I was as impressed as I hoped I’d be for a Great Film.

No responses yet

July 19, 2004

Jul 19 2004 Published by under Miscellaneous

Lileks agrees with me about Spider-Man 2‘s music:

Oh, and for those who insist that Elfman’s score is still something special: hum the theme. Go ahead. Just try.
James Lileks, July 19, 2004

Otherspace Productions is going well. I had three folks over at my apartment on Saturday: an in-betweener (who was actually redrawing one sequence to fix some errors in the key cels), a CGI artist, and a background artist (who was also the CGI artist’s boyfriend and is helping her significantly with the CGI).

I’ve discovered that CGI is quite expensive, partly because of audience expectations. CGI is supposed to be intricately detailed and relentlessly realistic. We’re used to excellent CGI, really.

The other problem with CGI, though, is its elasticity. It’s so easy to change things that I can always find something to tweak, something to improve. I could spend the next six months adding detail and otherwise changing this one shot. Meanwhile, it’s costing me hundreds of dollars.

But we’re making solid progress; the shot is beginning to progress from good to jaw-dropping beauty.

[Spider-Man]

After the animators left, I went out to see Spider-Man 2. I liked it, though it didn’t live up to my friends’ reviews, most of which claimed it was better than the original. I still like the original a bit more, mainly because this film seemed more muddy. The plot is straightforward, and a lot of scenes drag on for quite awhile with no real change coming about as a result of them. The film was never boring, but it was often ponderous and sluggish. I’m reminded of a quote, “Any work that aspires to greatness should carry its justification with every line.” Spider-Man 2 was a very good film, but it didn’t reinforce its justification often enough.

I’m also disappointed with the music, though this also applies to the first film. When I listen to a piece of music from Star Wars or Lord of the Rings, I can often identify the exact scene it accompanies. I can recognize individual characters’ themes. I can’t do that with Spider-Man music. Spider-Man‘s music is a series of horn trills, of music that accompanies the film but does not flesh it out or make it any more alive. It’s like playing Rhapsody in Blue on a kazoo; yes, the melody is still there, but it doesn’t have the full force it deserves.

I was not disappointed, as some of my friends were, with the obviously CGI nature of the later action sequences. I was thrilled with them, actually, because they were actually able to portray a big comic book fight. Comic book characters don’t look real when they fight. The fights are supposed to look larger-than-life and impossible.

I also simply must point out my favorite shot in the film. When Doctor Octopus is going nuts in the operating room, one of his victims dives for a chain saw. It’s a shot that would be right at home in Evil Dead 2 (from what little I’ve seen of it) or Army of Darkness, which is by the same director. Hilarious.

No responses yet

Friday, July 16, 2004

Jul 16 2004 Published by under Miscellaneous

I’m feeling a little better today, especially as my deadline at work was pushed back two weeks. Yay! I can go to Otakon guilt-free!

[Death Rat cover]

A few words on Mike Nelson’s Death Rat, as promised:

I’d hoped the book would be gut-wrenchingly funny, but assumed it would be just a solid, fun book. It definitely fell into the latter category. It reminded me a bit of Terry Pratchett’s early Discworld novels, actually; off-kilter and unique comedy combined with an intricate plot involving several very unusual heroes and antagonists.

The story features a ”snowball” structure—the protagonist makes a bad decision, and things snowball into wilder and wilder situations. In this case, a middling historical author named Pontius Feeb decides to write a silly beach novel, but publishers are interested in writers that they can send around on book tours, and they certainly can’t push a nervous old man in front of an audience to read from an adventure novel. So Feeb gets a strapping young friend of his to pretend he wrote the book. And things snowball from there.

One of the things I really like about the book is its focus on the upper Midwest. It’s a part of our country that gets far too little exposure in the literary world, and I enjoyed getting a glimpse at the hardier peoples of Minnesota. These are sensible people—just as likely as any others to be prejudiced and stupid, but they have a simple certainty about themselves. If they indulge in trifling hobbies, it’s not because they’re desperately struggling for a sense of identity.

And it’s those sorts of touches that make for enjoyable reading. I enjoyed it because of what Nelson brings to the book as his own unique person. As it stands, Death Rat was a heck of a lot of fun, and the sort of book I know I’ll enjoy reading again.

No responses yet

July 15, 2004

Jul 15 2004 Published by under Miscellaneous

As expected, I’m in a fairly dark place right now.

This is expected because I’ve now lived long enough to have learned that – simply because of regression to the mean – emotional high times in my life are usually followed by relatively low times. The high time, in this case, was my week with Saalon, which was a joy and fulfilling on several levels. He was great, and I loved hanging out with his friends. It was one of the best weeks I’ve ever experienced.

My current low is related to this. I’ve realized recently that I have a paucity of real friends around me locally. The solid friendships I’ve made recently with people in this area have melted away as my friends have moved away for other jobs or opportunities. Those I have left are separated by emotional and ideological gulfs that prevent us from delving deeply enough to establish truly deep friendships. Sometimes, I haven’t made much of an effort, but this goes beyond that. There are some people that you just hit it off with, and those are the people I miss. I love my more casual friends – they’re great people – but I don’t have the same emotional connection with them as I’ve had with those who’ve left.

Meanwhile, I felt like I hit it off with the folks up at Saalon’s. I want to hang out with them as often as possible, to see movies and go drinking and sit around and shoot the breeze for hours and days and months and years. But they’re all hundreds of miles away. I miss them, deeply. I live in Washington, D.C, where nobody stays long, and I’m used to people coming and going. But this separation affects me deeply.

Moreover, this comes at a time when I’m at a tough spot at work. The real deadline is very soon – a week from Monday, probably (it might get pushed back a week or so). I have a lot of work to do by then. Not too much, but a lot.

The problem is that I have absolutely no drive to do any of that work. I look at my to-do list – with a full understanding of the impending deadline – and I’m about as interested in work as I am in tractor pulls.

This lack of emotional reaction worries me. I’d rather be scared and working like Paul Bunyan on crystal meth than uncaring as I am. This makes it all the harder for me to actually do the work, and at this point I’m afraid that I won’t have the gumption to actually do all the work that I need to do.

Which means that I may have to work quite a bit of overtime over the next few weeks. While I’m mildly depressed and need as much time off as possible to recover; otherwise I’ll slip further into depression, which will further feed my apathy at work, and here we go ’round the mulberry bush….

I’ve filled my spare time with activities that are both fun and important to me – reading, baking, cleaning my apartment a little (for the psychological boost of exercising control over my environment), exercising, watching anime. But they don’t help to banish the depression; they merely keep it from getting worse. I need to have the time to let the depression pass. And work is denying me that time, for several weeks at least (once the deadline hits, I’ll spend two weeks with the customer as they review the documentation).

I wish I had a satisfying, pithy end to this entry. I don’t. I just have me, and I’m feeling open-ended right now.

Most people seem to resent the controversial in music; they don’t want their listening habits disturbed. They use music as a couch; they want to be pillowed on it, relaxed and consoled [from] the stress of daily living. But serious music was never meant to be used as a soporific. Contemporary music, especially, is created to wake you up, not put you to sleep. It is meant to stir and excite you, to move you—it may even exhaust you. But isn’t that the kind of stimulation you go to the theater for or read a book for? Why make an exception for music?
— Aaron Copland, What to Listen for in Music

I intend to post a full entry today; I just wanted to put that up before I forgot.

No responses yet

Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Jul 13 2004 Published by under Miscellaneous

Okay, I’m back. And doing my best to return to normal.

Though, of course, our lives never return to a true, indefinite equilibrium. If history teaches us anything, it’s the constancy of change and the vast variety of human nature. Living a ”normal” life implies an average, which simply isn’t meaningful when it comes to living life.

But I am trying to re-establish my routines, and find better ways to live. I had my animators over on Saturday, and spent Sunday afternoon with my parents, as usual. I thrive on routine.

My newest new organizational tool is a weekly to-do list. This list contains all the things I’d really like to do frequently, but often forget about. I print out a new list every week and put it on my desk where I’ll see it every day, and I use it to remind myself of my priorities. Here’s the list (unordered):

  • Faith-building exercise
  • Pray for ____ minutes (one more each week)
  • Rent (and watch) one Great Movie, from Roger Ebert’s list
  • Watch one current movie in theaters
  • Watch anime
  • Read up on jazz
  • Read up on techno
  • Listen to a classical piece
  • Read a book
  • Read a long stretch of the Bible (multiple chapters)
  • Work on a Syllable application or tutorial
  • Call friends (Saalon, Brennen, others)
  • Practice piano
  • Practice violin
  • Compose some music

There’s also space at the bottom to add items that only apply to that week (like, this week, capturing the behind-the-scenes video footage I taped last week and storing it on a backup external hard drive).

No responses yet

Next »