Internal Dialog(ue)

Sep 14 2006

After my revelation last weekend, I’ve been consciously avoiding any internal arguments. I stop rehearsing conversations or imagining how I’d explain something to someone, as soon as I realize I’m doing it. I still do it a lot, but I’m doing it less than I was before.

The result? I focus on the task at hand much more often and much more deeply. I’m less distracted in general. I find I can focus myself more quickly, too.

And I seem to have a lot more time. Maybe I spent more time in internal dialogue than I realized.

The more I think about it, the more I feel that this has been highly beneficial. I don’t want to spend more of my life arguing, after all; I’d rather argue less. And even if I do come up with “the perfect come-back,” I can’t recall ever having an opportunity to use it; the conversation is never exactly as you imagine it will be.

And there’s always the question of whether finding “the perfect come-back” is a good or right goal. Usually, I want to find it so I can show the other person their error. But how often has anyone been argued out of their opinion because of a particular response? Do I really need to prove to people that they’re wrong? Even if I do, do I really need to rehearse doing so?

Comments:

Cantnever Really a neat discovery. I’m 60 and newly learning that others seldom want my opinion or facts. They want a listening ear. Congrats Brent. You’re way ahead of me.

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