I didn’t do much today, as I had a mild cold which sapped most of my energy.

• Looked into SD memory cards, as I can’t put text files onto my Treo handheld unless I install one. They’re fairly inexpensive; a 256 MB card costs about USD $30, and I can fit an awful lot of eTexts in that space. On the other hand, I could get a 1 GB SD card and put a bunch of albums on there, turning my Treo into a portable MP3 player. I might actually use it for that (even though 1 GB would “only” store ten albums or so).
• After discovering that packaged hot cocoa mix contains partially hydrogenated soybean oil (which sticks in your arteries for about seven years), I made my own hot chocolate mix: a cup of powdered milk, a third of a cup of sugar, three tablespoons of cocoa, and a dash of salt (makes three servings). I plan to take it to work tomorrow and try it out there. I think I should add some vanilla flavoring, but all I have is liquid vanilla extract. Any idea where I could find some powdered vanilla?
• Wrote 370 words of my short story “The Old Man,” which finishes it. Or, at least, ends the story. It still needs revision, which I suspect will be severe. Perhaps I’ll follow Neil Gaiman’s advice and literally put the story in a drawer for a week or so.
• Assembled a list of cookies and ingredients for my yearly Christmas Cookie ritual. I plan to make up to ten different kinds of cookies this year, especially if I can devote pretty much all of Saturday to making most of them.

For the past few days, I’ve been testing a new format for this journal: a bulleted list of my accomplishments for the day. It pushes me to think of my days in terms of accomplishments, which I think is beneficial. It’s also easy to do.

I write these entries at night as I go to bed, which means I don’t post them until the next day. So, you’ll be seeing yesterday’s entries for as long as I use this format.

Accomplishments for today:

• I finished all of the documents that need my attention at work. I still have some more work to do, but I’m essentially done with my main project. This is a major turning point, and I’m quite relieved. Hmmm. Perhaps I should celebrate by going out somewhere.
• Because I’m getting tired of eating turkey, I made a quick turkey soup/stew for dinner. I simply boiled some water, then shredded turkey by hand and added that, and added some baby carrots. I added basil, thyme, salt, and pepper, and let it simmer for about 45 minutes. It would have benefitted from more simmering and less pepper, but it tasted good, and was a welcome change of pace. It’s a good example of how cooking can be easy.
• Watched episode 23 of .Hack//Sign, which continues to be excellent. It’s nice to see Tsukasa follow essentially the same path that Shinji Ikari should have followed in Neon Genesis Evangelion. While Shinji just repeated the same mistakes over and over, Tsukasa is changing and growing.
• Assembled a 1/144-scale model Zaku II. This is a giant robot from the Gundam universe; I bought one to complement two other Gundam models I bought. Unfortunately, the Zaku II model turns out to be at a smaller scale than the other models, so it looks completely wrong when posed with the other models. That’s frustrating, but I am heartened to discover that it only took me an hour to assemble it.
• Wrote four hundred more words of ”The Old Man,” which is getting closer to a climax. I’m already 1,600 words in, though, which worries me a bit. I want this to be a short story.
• Reviewed my finances, paid a few bills, and worked out a schedule for paying some others. I’ve realized recently that I value stable finances. I don’t like to juggle bill payments. So, now I’m looking for ways to make more money, and better manage the money I have.
• Reviewed Japanese.
• Reviewed my master mind map (more on that below), and assembled a preliminary list of my core values:
1. Teaching others
2. Learning
3. Creativity
4. Spirituality
5. Security
6. Financial security

My “master mind map” comes from an exercise in Leonard Gelb’s How To Think Like Leonardo Da Vinci. It’s a tool to help a person figure out who they are, and who they want to be.

You start by drawing a little insignia for yourself in the center of a blank piece of paper. Then, you think of parts of your life that are important to you—your job, your hobbies, etc.—and write down a word for each of those, emanating out from your insignia. Look, here’s what I drew:

Later, you return and redraw this map, adding more words if you’ve thought of new things to add. Then you look at each of those words and think of ways to achieve them, and draw more words on the page to flesh out the mind map. Here’s what I got:

The next step is to review this map to notice patterns, as I did last night. I noticed that several of my goals—writing, Otherspace Productions, drawing, and even cooking—are all manifestations of a desire to show others what I’ve learned. That’s why “Teaching others” is on the top of my list of core values.

Accomplishments for Saturday, November 27, 2004:

• Ran in the morning. Man, am I out of shape; I walked half the time because I was so out of breath. On the other hand, that should improve within a week or two if I keep running every morning.
• I haven’t uploaded any photos for nearly a year, but I finally got around to uploading four of the ones I’ve taken since then: Beware of Dog, Sunset at Work, Blue Sunset at Work, Red Sunset at Work, and Laputa Cloud.
• Hosted another Guy’s Night Out, which was a blast. We watched Godzilla vs. Mothra, the MST3K episode “Space Mutiny,” the first episode of Macross Plus, and the Cowboy Bebop episode “Ballad of Fallen Angels.” Everyone seemed to have a great time, which of course was the point. One of the adults made milkshakes, which was a special treat beyond our standard fare of burgers and hot dogs and chips.

The adult who made the milkshakes stayed late and showed me most of Starship Troopers 2, a rather execrable movie. Phil Tippett (legendary special effects man) directed it, and predictably, the special effects sequences are excellent but that’s about it. The entire thing was apparently shot with a handheld camcorder; the quality was low and the shots bounced around a lot. This made for an odd juxtaposition with the breathtaking shots of attacking Bugs.

On the other hand, it was an undeniably fun flick, even though part of the fun came from pointing out the stupidity of the characters and the convenience of certain plot devices.

Accomplishments for Sunday, November 28, 2004:

• After my morning run, I went to Leesburg Baptist Church, where the pastor gave an outstanding sermon. It was really two sermons in one; he began with a freeform talk about how important it is for us all to just stop and listen. Not to each other; to ourselves and to God. “Be still and know that I am God.” In the second half of the sermon, he spoke about angels, and listed the ways in which angels speak in the Bible: They give messages of joy, they encourage, and they warn. I’m doing the sermon an injustice with this summary.
• Proofed another chunk of the novel I’m proofreading. I got up to page 102, which is the point at which I promised the author to send what I had so far. That’s a good feeling. I still have another two hundred pages to proof, though.
• Tried to plant bulbs in my garden, but the ground is soaked after all the rain we’ve been having. The area I’m planting in is waterlogged, anyway. So instead, I trimmed some shrubs and raked the lawn, which is standard autumn garden maintenance.
• Made potato chips and fried turkey for dinner, during which I watched episodes 21 and 22 of .Hack//Sign. The story is definitely building up to a big conclusion, and wonderfully, it’s all character-driven. What a rarity, and I’m thankful for it.
• Hopped online and uploaded the rest of the photos that have been sitting on my hard drive for almost a year: Dragon Trail at Sunset, Melted Gold Sunset, Paintbrush Sunset, The Grotto, Leaf Wallpaper, Leafy Bower, and Overshadowed House. I also found an Asian block print that I plan to paint on the wall of my downstairs bathroom (the entire room will have an Asian theme).
• Worked a little on my current short story, “The Old Man,” but it’s just not coming. The characters just aren’t speaking to me; maybe I need to journal about them a bit.
• Replaced the air filter for my heating system.

I have a girl interested in renting my spare bedroom. That’s exciting, if a little scary. I’ve never really lived with anyone before, so I don’t know exactly what to expect. I think I could live with pretty much anyone, but I fear that my ignorance is feeding me a too-narrow definition of ”anyone.”

Accomplishments for November 26, 2004:

• During lunch at work, I met my parents at a local mall, then did some Christmas shopping. I now either have gifts or know exactly what I’ll get for most of the people on my Christmas list.
• Found out how a toilet works, so I can figure out why my bathroom toilet doesn’t always flush completely. Discovered that the flush valve closes completely as soon as the lever is released, and there’s no other way to get water into the bowl. I think I’m still missing some piece of the puzzle, but for now I know that I need to keep the lever depressed for a few seconds, to let the tank drain.
• Wrote another 180 words of ”The Old Man”.
• Began work on my Christmas writing project, in which I write one-page tributes to various friends and family, to be given to them with their Christmas presents. I’ve wanted to make gifts for those close to me, but I have very little in the way of handcrafting skills. However, I can write, so I figure I can use that skill to create something unique for people.
• Went through my complete strength training regimen, except for my sit-up.

In other news, I made a pleasant discovery Thanksgiving morning. After putting the turkey in the oven, I took a long walk around the neighborhood. A rainstorm had just blown through, so the clouds were scudding across the sky like leaves in a river. I walked down to the end of my street and discovered a grassy hill, the perfect sort of hill for climbing. I ran up it and, from the top, I could see the whole world, just like Hazel and Blackberry in Watership Down.

Accomplishments for November 24, 2004:

• Awoke at 7:00 a.m. and, after an Instant Breakfast, walked and jogged briefly (about ten minutes). There was my exercise for the day. I also did some basic strength training with my isometric exercise device.
• At work, completed five formal action items. This is much less work than I’d like to have done, though I’m partly limited by a lack of other things to do.
• Wrote about 150 words of The Old Man, a Hallowe’en story about an old man and a young boy who are both lonely, and find temporary solace in each others’ company. I think.
• Painted my upstairs closet door a section of wall in my upstairs bathroom. This completes painting of the upstairs bathroom. The closet door will need a third coat of paint.
• Read the last third of 1 Corinthians. It’s remarkable how often I’ve been mis-taught this book. It’s all about grace and getting along!
• Baked a pumpkin pie for Thanksgiving, as well as a batch of biscotti for tea. I also noticed a recipe for essentially cinnamon rolls in one cookbook; I might be able to make those for Saturday mornings instead of relying on Pillsbury. I also prepared the bread crumbs for the stuffing tomorrow, and noticed that I have no celery. Hmmm. Will the stuffing be okay without celery? Too late to buy any more.
• Reviewed my primary Japanese language book for a few minutes while waiting for the biscotti to bake. I’d like to spend a bit of time learning Japanese most days in the immediate future.
• Reviewed Don’t Just Do What I Tell You! Do What Needs To Be Done, a business book with a lot of good advice. The advice is in the form of platitudes, but they’re true platitudes which I would do well to follow despite their banality.
• While unable to go to sleep, I wrote one page of a Welcome document for new Otherspace Productions employees. I’ve found that I can’t remember to tell each new employee everything that needs to be said. Hopefully, this Welcome document can introduce our values and culture clearly.

I couldn’t get to sleep on time; I think I was too distracted by my Thanksgiving preparations. I’ve never done it before, and I get nervous whenever I do something for the first time, especially when I’ll be doing it for an audience.

Chris asks: “If one does not have self confidence, how does one get self confidence?”

That’s an excellent question. Fortunately, self-confidence is not a Boolean attribute. One can gain a little self-confidence, then more, then more.

I know of two consistent solutions. The first is to start out by faking it. Pretend that you have self-confidence, and people will respond to that with respect. That can give you self-confidence.

Secondly, self-confidence can come from those around us. If you surround yourself with caring, nurturing people, they will give you self-confidence.

And now, more VR story:

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