April 27, 2005

I had a rather strange experience this week—I joined a Tae Kwan Do academy, then promptly backed out two days later.

That may seem strange, and it is, really, but I have my reasons. My 2005 New Year’s Resolution was to investigate and take up a martial art. I’ve been hemming and hawing about that investigation, until finally on Saturday I simply walked into a local Tae Kwan Do academy. Fortunately, someone there was signing up her daughter for a practice session, so I listened to that conversation and used that info to ask for a practice session myself.

On Monday, I went to the practice session, and it was a blast. After the ritual bows, I followed the 20 minute warmup routine, which did an amazing job of stretching my muscles and joints. Afterwards, one of the senior martial artists as well as the head of the academy took me through the basics of the Tae Kwan Do, and I practiced a couple of punches, kicks, and blocks.

Afterwards, I made my mistake. I sat down with the grandmaster, who suggested I sign up for a three-year course. This was more than I expected, but rather than tell him that, I simply agreed. I signed a contract and gave him $150.

That night, adrenaline coursed through my veins as I anticipated my growing skills. I was extremely excited at the idea. In retrospect, I was overexcited and starstruck.

The next day, I began to realize the enormity of my commitment. This was a twice-a-week commitment combined with daily training at home. Considering all the other projects on my plate, was this wise?

That night, I explained my misgivings to Saalon, and based on his advice, I decided to back out and look around a bit more. This lead to greater anxiety on my part, as I dreaded explaining this to the grandmaster.

This evening, I went to the academy and explained myself to the office manager. She was thoroughly considerate and professional, and processed my cancellation immediately. Unfortunately, they won’t refund my first month’s fee, though I can use that month in the future if I decide to come back.

I feel that I made the right final decision. This was more than I can commit to right now. However, I shouldn’t have made the commitment in the first place. I should have told the grandmaster that three years were more than I had anticipated, and that I wanted time to think it over. I should have respected my own pace.

Haven’t felt like updating in a while, in case that wasn’t clear from the dearth of recent entries. Plenty has been going on in my life; I just haven’t felt like writing about it.

Then again, I’ve felt a bit out-of-sorts lately. Not depressed; more like that 2 a.m. feeling of having wool between your ears. And I’ve found that I only feel like writing when I’m in either a good mood or a very bad one. Since I’ve felt neither lately, I haven’t updated the site.

I was recently inspired by a conversation with Saalon (interesting how many of my projects start like that) to consider a reorganization of my journal, which might excite me to write more. I’d like to aggregate several projects onto this journal page: the journal itself, the VR story, a recent photo, and perhaps a recent drawing. I’d like a page that looks more like a newspaper about my life.