So, after recovering from my illness, I had some trouble getting to sleep, and as a result I’ve felt tired for the past couple of days. Which means that I haven’t gotten much done. Which I guess is further proof of Brennen‘s maxim that I quoted a few days ago, “You can’t get away from the physical world.”

Another example: A couple of the comments made on this blog recently hurt me. As in, they made me feel a bit depressed for the past two days. Why?

As much as food, water, and air, humans need community. Not necessarily a thrumming metropolis, but just as surely as an urbanite has her bars or gym, a geek will have his IRC channels and D&D group. We’re wired for it.

So, those comments represented a break in my community, albeit a temporary break. A subtle (or not-so-subtle) rejection. And that break hit my nerve-level need for community.

It’s all better now. But that’s a good reminder. You can’t get away from the physical world.

Comments:

I’ve rarely ever felt satisfied by my work, and I may be beginning to understand why.

I’ve typically lived in the future. I was always dreaming of adventures and what might be. That manifested in my love of science fiction, naturally, and my general demeanor. I was always trying to figure things out, to get to where things were going. Which is a bad habit in conversations. I rarely listened deeply and fully to others.

Over the past few years, I’ve been spending more time in the present. I’ve been focusing on that which occurs here and now, in the moment. I’ve been learning to concentrate on the words and actions of others, observing every nuance of body language and tone of voice. Not so I can “get to where things are going,” but so I can fully understand them. People have responded with great enthusiasm to this change.

So, I’ve broadened my focus from just the future, to also include the present. For the past few days, I’ve been widening that scope further to regard the past. What have I done today? What have I done this week?

This is not so that I can tally up a score for myself, exactly. It does let me look realistically at my work.

In the past, my work was never enough, because I was always looking at the future. Completed work wasn’t in the future, so it didn’t count on some level. Once it was done, it’s like it never existed. So I was forever chasing after work that evaporated in my hands.

Now that I’m including the past in my thinking, I’m much more content with myself. I see how much I really am accomplishing. I see that I really am doing all sorts of things that make me happy.

This doesn’t solve any problems, really. But it does make me better able to confront my world.

Comments:

So I’ve been sick the past couple of days. Well, the past two weeks, really, but sick enough to stay home from work for the past couple of days.

Which has gotten me to thinking. I’m home, and I have all this spare time. Obviously, I can’t be as productive as I would be were I healthy. But why not spend some of that time on my various and sundry projects? I could at the very least, say, blog more, or review server logs. I could even write. I don’t do any of these; I surf the web.

Why? Sure, I want to relax. But why not spend that “down time” doing something useful? If my body is resting, why can’t I use my mind?

I guess it’s because the mind and body are linked (to quote Brennen, “You can’t get away from the physical world.”). An ill body makes for an ill mind, to coin a Franklin-esque aphorism that’s probably more cute than true.

So, the question becomes: could I spend that recharge time doing something useful? Watching anime I’ve been meaning to watch? This would require some discipline, to push myself to do that instead of watching another MST3K episode. But…why not?

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I spent Sunday afternoon at a large mall, so I could be more creative.

I don’t much like malls. Especially crowded ones, as this mall was. But after waking up one morning last week to find my bedsheet had a long rip down the center, which eventually became so wide the bedsheet was split in half, I decided to brave the crowds.

Besides, I needed to recharge my batteries. Much as I want to get things done, I also recognize the need to recharge. How can one recharge? The Artist’s Way At Work recommends taking a couple of hours every week to experience something creative. Alone.

How was the mall creative? I observed people and culture. I studied little knicknacks. I spent quite a lot of time in an Asian furniture store, and ended up buying a Japanese tea set and a piece of Chinese cork art. I stopped in the LEGO store and stood, agape, at the new anime-themed mecha sets (complete with random kanji on the boxes). And I thought about what that meant for Otherspace.

In other words, I consciously gave myself space to recharge my creative juices. And I do feel more creative.

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One of the goals of self-improvement is being able to do more things, or do all the things you’re currently doing in less time. People often confuse those goals and, with the time saved, do more things.

Which is not to say that one can’t, for example, trim down one’s life to so few projects that one can add another project or two and stay sane. There’s a sweet spot, and unfortunately that sweet spot is different for different people (it also changes over time).

This is something I’m trying to figure out. What is my ”sweet spot?” How many projects can I comfortably keep up with, while also maintaining a social life and free time?

Right now, I have seven projects. I’m trying to figure out how to cut that down to six. I may not be able to do that, but I also may be able to do enough on my existing projects that they take very little time, allowing me to add another project.

Still, seven feels too big.

Comments:

Now that I have comments, I want to write something. So, inevitably, I’m tempted to write about writing comments. Heh. I added comments because I honestly want to hear from you all. I want us all to chat.

Though I don’t know how I’ll be able to participate, because I’m exhausted. I’ve re-committed myself to doing a lot of work at work, so I’ve been busier in the last few days than I have in, well, the last few weeks (at least, that’s what it feels like). Which is good, of course, all things considered. But this is the second night where I’ve come home and felt utterly unable to do anything.

Indeed, last night I went back out to 7–11 (a local convenience store), bought a bag of Doritos and some premium ice cream, and ate them while watching an episode of Mystery Science Theater 3000. That was Monday night.

So, yeah, I could have been a lot more productive lately at home. But I sure haven’t felt like it. So, I haven’t been.

Is this good? Or bad? Or something else?

Comments:

I’ve been reading a book titled Wisdom Tales From Around The World. I’ve heard this particular story before, but it always makes me think. So, I’d like to share it with you all (slightly changed):

As two Zen monks walked along a muddy, rain-drenched road, they came upon a lovely woman attempting to cross a large mud puddle. The elder monk stopped beside the woman, lifted her in his arms, and carried her across the puddle. He set her gently down on the dry ridge of the road as the younger monk discreetly admired her charms.

After bowing politely to the woman, the two monks continued down the muddy road. The younger monk was sullen and silent as they walked. They traveled over hills, down around valleys, through a town, and under forest trees. At last, after many hours had passed, the younger monk could stay silent no longer. He turned to his elder and exclaimed, “You are aware that we monks do not touch women! Why did you carry that girl?”

The elder monk turned and smiled. He said, “My dear young brother, you have such heavy thoughts! I left the woman alongside the road hours ago. Why are you still carrying her?”

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Flexibility can turn into “openness” which can turn into inflexibility. Witness this quote from a roommate advertisement on CraigsList:

“I’m very open-minded and don’t want to live with anyone who is not.”

Comments:

One of the keys to self-improvement is to be able to recognize when your own personal little world is changing due to outside influences. We each have hobbies and markets that we’re involved in, and over time they’re impacted by technology and public opinion. We have to recognize these changes and act on them.

Consider “Old Media”—TV, newspapers, radio, etc. Peter Chermin, president and COO of News Corporation, wrote a glowing editorial on the wonderful potential of new technology for his medium. His basic premise: Old Media isn’t dead; new technology just offers more opportunities for growth.

Well, yes, and no. Because the one thread running throughout Mr. Chermin’s piece is the idea of consumers as generic consumers, of media as mass media. His contention appears to be that, if mass media can just take advantage of new technology, it can reach more of the same sorts of people it reaches now.

But increasingly, people aren’t interested in mass media. The people I know get news and entertainment from very specific sources. There are fewer and fewer “generic consumers” any more. My parents buy their food at a small market, watch one cable channel (BBC America, at that), and use personalized webmail through this very server (e.g., not Gmail, Hotmail, etc.). Mass media just don’t reach people the way they used to.

And that’s always the danger. Even when you see change, and even when you change your attitude towards the change itself, you don’t always change your life in response to the consequences. When you can completely change yourself as a response to change, then you’re on the path to self-improvement.

At least, that’s what I think.

I’ve now uploaded the pictures I took while vacationing with Brennen last weekend.